How To Catch Superwoman
I remember it all too clearly…..One minute I’m on my way to work, jamming to a Fred Hammond CD while eating a bagel. The breakfast of champions courtesy of my mother when I dropped my kids off to be taken to elementary school... and BOOM!
It felt like someone had kicked me in my chest, my heart started racing, my body felt weak, and my hands were shaky and clammy. I was terrified, but still able to pull over on the side of the road to call my mom. She met me on the side of the road and walked me to her car. The trip to the hospital felt like an eternity and I was so afraid I was going to lose consciousness.
The doctor ran tests and what did he find? Nothing, except for a slight drop in my glucose level. WHAT???!!! He asked if I had anything stressful going on and I answered, “No, not really, just…..” And I ran down a list of people, places and things that were the usual craziness of my life; as my mom and husband (at the time) listened with dropped jaws wondering why I had never said anything……
Why hadn’t I … and why don’t you? Are we too strong to ask for help? Do we feel we don’t deserve it? Has someone denied us help before and made us feel weak for asking? Or maybe our ego’s climb towards perfection convinces us to take it ALL on, while also trying to make it look effortless. IMPOSSIBLE!!!
The S on our chest stands for
Stress!
In our first post last week, How to Create In-Joyable Moments, we talked about slowing down and creating small moments of joy. When we practice presence we come to realize that the time we have is now; the past is no longer and the future is not yet here. So if our joy or peace is always dependent upon revisiting the past or striving tirelessly toward the future, then it’s always unattainable.
Let’s do a brief inquiry….What activities dominate your to-do list? How stressed do you feel in attempting to get it all done? Does your self image depend on how much you accomplish? And when your day doesn’t go as planned, what nasty names or negative thoughts do you repeat to yourself? Ahhhh yes, it’s the chattering of the mind, or in sanskrit chitta vritti. Just talking away ever so loudly about who you are and who you are not because you didn’t perform up to par, whatever par is. But it’s not your REAL story, nor your TRUE self.
On top of your own expectations (realistic or not), you may be struggling with the expectations of others; your significant other, family, boss, colleagues, AND yes, even social media. Perhaps you’ve created a world where you are Superwoman- the supporter, the advisor, the fixer. And NOW you’re exhausted and ready to turn back into Kristin Wells. How did you get here? Will your world really crash and burn if you don’t get THAT done? Will you lose love, respect and status if you don’t do all things perfectly and efficiently? Who are YOU when you’re not doing ALL the things?
You are your Authentic Self
when….
YOU are listening to your needs, desires, and passions.
YOU have identified your foundational values and non-negotiables.
YOU prioritize your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual self- care
YOU accept your mistakes and shortcomings and offer self compassion when you don’t live up to some societal role or standard.
YOU commit to self development
YOU align your values to the activities and purpose in which you choose to give your time and energy.
YOU no longer have to be Superwoman.
Instead you get to be YOU!
Disclaimer: This information is for educational and informational purposes only and solely as a self-help tool for your own use. I am not providing medical, psychological, or nutrition therapy advice. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your own medical practitioner. Always seek the advice of your own medical practitioner and/or mental health provider about your specific health situation.