Release and Flow
I have two reminders posted in my room: Release control and Go with the flow. One of my mentors helped me to be aware of my attempts to control life. I was using old mindsets and routines to steer the direction of my life (so I thought), and they were no longer serving me. And although they made me feel safe, helped manage and make life more predictable, these mindsets and routines also kept me from noticing the unpredictable adventures and miracles in life. I’d keep myself busy completing tasks on my never ending to-do list and I took pride in my ability to multitask. All in the name of being efficient and saving time. But can you really save time? Is efficiency worth sacrificing your well being? I’ve even passed some of these onto my kids.
So what does it mean to be in flow? Alan Watts compares the path of life to a river that moves along, and we have a choice to swim against it or with it. When we attempt to control life, then we’re resisting and swimming against it. When we decide to release control and become co-creators with life, then we are in flow. The challenge is to connect to the wonder that is life and live in it without the baggage, judgment, jadedness or fears of our past. Yeah….. that feeling right there… Can you feel all of the excuses, the resistance, the reasons why that’s impossible for us? How do we release it?
https://youtu.be/HRT3aN_nXjw
Self compassion and self-care have continued to help me make the conscious choice to release control, and instead, flow. The key is to notice when and where you need each in your life. Some of us, the tough ones, may view compassion as a weakness. So not only do we not extend it to ourselves; we may also see others as weak when they expect it from us. Dr. Kristen Neff breaks compassion down into 3 steps:
Notice that you/someone else is suffering
Feel care for and desire to help yourself/someone who is suffering
Realize that suffering, imperfection or failure is part of the human experience.
https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/
Our first step is to acknowledge that our limits don’t make us weak, but human. Compassion allows us to accept our limits and welcome flow. Living in flow is not to be equated with ease and absence of conflict. Life happens - both pleasurable AND painful experiences occur - hence the word flow. The second step is to create a self care regimen that improves our well being. Self care consists of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual acts of love toward ourselves. They can be small or large, depending on what’s needed. What’s surprising is some of us don’t even know how we desire or need to be loved and cared for. Of course there are things you like, but what acts of love feed your soul? If you have the flu, it would be crazy to give yourself medicine for a stomach ache! OR if you’re hungry and haven't eaten in a while, it would be insane to cook a full course meal of food you don’t like. In the same token, don’t take yourself on a shopping spree, if what you really need is a nap. What do you need to feel revived, refreshed, replenished? Find out and give THAT love to yourself!
If you’re unsure of where to start, I’d love to partner with you on this journey
This information is for educational and informational purposes only and solely as a self-help tool for your own use. I am not providing medical, psychological, or nutrition therapy advice. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your own medical practitioner. Always seek the advice of your own medical practitioner and/or mental health provider about your specific health situation.
Promoting Flow in the Sacral Chakra
Introducing the 2nd energy center, the Sacral Chakra! This subtle body is located about 3 fingers below the belly button, represented by the color orange and the element water, and is the seat of movement, emotions, connection and pleasure. Feelings of guilt block the flow of compassionate energy. For example, we may feel guilty and take TOTAL responsibility when our to-do list isn’t completed at the end of the day. Or maybe someone isn’t satisfied with our work, even though we put forth our best effort to multi-task. If we never extend ourselves compassion in these situations, then it becomes a cycle that only ends in the all too familiar states of exhaustion and resentment.
A person who’s sacral chakra is deficient may be emotionally unavailable, limited in movement and denying her/himself pleasure. An excessive sacral chakra is characterized by heightened emotions, absence of boundaries, and constant pleasure seeking. A person with a balanced sacral chakra can express emotions in safe and appropriate spaces, balance both pleasure and productivity; and have healthy relationships with boundaries.
Flow can be embodied in several ways, including:
linking the breath to the movement of your body in yoga, dance, exercise, etc.
choosing to express your emotions outwardly, safely and appropriately
Taking a shower or drinking water
Standing with your feet in the grass, arms open wide, head back (MY FAV!)
Expressing your creativity
Taking the time to pause, meditate, sit/walk/run/bike/skate in nature and notice the natural flow of life like it’s your first time seeing.
In addition, join me for this week’s yoga flow including hip opening poses and affirmations to allow your sacral energy to flow!